Planataria Lecture
Hello again class. That gulag was fucking terrible. *Shudder* I’m glad to be back in front of all of you to teach you more about the many different species of the universe, that in my absence none of you apparently went out of your way to learn about, which is now why you are staring at me with those dumb blank faces. Maybe this isn’t better. Anyway, there was an incident at the gulag involving a feral Chitara and an overturned vat of honey, so I will be taking a break from anything cat related for a while. Today’s lecture will instead be on the woodland creatures known as the Planataria BIOLOGY The Planataria are an entirely female species supposedly made out of wood. Though they are all female, all Planataria start off looking extremely androgynous. For fucks sake (Patreon supporter 1) open up a dictionary once in a while. Androgynous means that their appearance does not express whether they are male or female. Yes (Patreon supporter 2), inappropriate to assume gender, PC norms, women’s lib, blah blah blah. Back to what I was saying, they start off androgynous, but after drinking the milk of a pregnant female of any species, their breast permanantly expand, which in some minor cases has caused the breast to be twice the size of their own bodies. “She who is not contented with what she has, would not be contented with what she would like to have.” … mother fuckers don’t even know who Socrates is. That is just one of the special characteristics of the Planataria which have caused them to be labeled as “Magical” by idiots. They are able to sustain themselves entirely off of water, using every nutrient to the fullest, allowing them to live hundreds, even thousands of years. It’s believed that they are able to increase their bust size due to using all the extra nutrients from a mother’s milk. It is not known why it only increases their bust size, and who knows what would happen if they ate any of the google amount of food in the universe. Not like those have nutrients either. Their blood, which is the consistency of maple sap, has been found to have restorative powers, healing anything from minor headaches to compound fractures. Their *cough* vaginal juices have also been found to have these capabilities. The Planataria require males of other species to reproduce, due to their own species being entirely female. They seem to have a preference for males who themselves are androgynous, and an extreme disdain for masucline individuals. After Planataria mate with a male … No Major Mogu, while they are primarily wood, their insides are quite soft, so there is no fear of splinters during coitus. After Planataria mate with a male, the semen of the male immediately penetrates into a seed inside the Planataria vagina. The seed is then removed from the vagina by the Planataria and planted in the ground, where a sprout will start growing. After 20 years of gestation, a fully grown Planataria will emerge from the plant, with a characteristic of the male used to create them, differing depending on the species used to create them, and a great knowledge given to them by their mother, Nature. I know that’s a little confusing, so allow me to explain Society All Planataria, even though inseminated inside of other Planataria, are born from Mother Nature. Planataria have a complex relationship with plants, trees, and soil from seemingly every planet in the known universe, but refuse to explain to outsiders this relationship. Since all Planataria are born from Nature, all Planataria consider themselves sisters. For crying out loud, keep it in your pants Major Umbreeyoree. They are a reserved race who lives in the trees of the planet Driahdia. What’s that (Patreon supporter 3) No, the names are correct. The species is Planataria and the planet they live on is Driahdia. What’s so confusing about that? The Planataria seem to have advanced technology, while the technology is build out of primitive resources. Almost Flintstonian technology if you would. … of course you get that fucking reference. They use their bodies and relationship with plants to make very potent salves and medicines, which made them high priorities to recruit into SpaceCorps Civilization The Planataria were first discovered after SpaceCorps Chief Mixologist Faruq Sloshed decided to expand the territory of his distillery and suffered a horrible accident when he got inebriated on his own supply and fell into one of the mechanical tree fellers, severing both his legs. The Planataria used their sap and salves on Faruq to stop his bleeding and patch up his open wounds, while adding, and I quote “Uhm, could you also stop destroying our homes? We, uh, kind of need them, if it’s alright with you?” Faruq quickly hobbled back to SpaceCorps High Command on 2 new peglegs to inform them of the Planataria and their “Magic”. Faruq was sent back to recruit the Planataria into SpaceCorps ranks, but was denied due to the Planataria’s extreme hatred of violence. Before he left Driahdia to tell High Command of his failure, a handful of Planataria approached him, stating that they wished to see more of the universe and help those in need. So Faruq DAMN IT (Patreon supporter 4) DON’T INTERRUPT MY STORY! IF YOU NEED TO PEE JUST FUCKING PEE! … So Faruq took the Planataria with him to High Command, where they also informed him that due to their leaving to help warriors, they are no longer allowed back onto Driahdia. Since the small amount has joined, their numbers have been increasing slowly but steadily throughout the MediCorps and SciCorps Bureau, though any salves they produce are to be sent to marketing for immediate resale at “appropriate” prices. So there we have the Planataria. I’ll talk about something else next time I guess. Shut up Major Mogu, I’ve been through horrible traumas, I can go on whatever tangents I want. And it wasn’t a tangent, it was all necessary information to how we discovered them. I DON’T CARE THAT’S NOT HOW I USED TO DO IT, IT’S HOW I DO IT NOW. AND NEVER BRING UP THE CHITARA AGAIN! Never again … never ... Category:Lectures Category:Fan Fic